July 2015 - A 2013 recollection!

Just a quick entry this time but looking through my documents on my PC, I came across this little piece dated April 2013 in connection with Sianne's college project on Transgender people which I was part of. Sianne ask me at the time to write a short story to tie in with the images she had taken of me (as well as the other seven girls participating in the project) to be put on display in a Manchester Gallery during the summer of that year. Below is the entry which I thought I would share.

As I originate from Liverpool and still live in the area, I have always taken the view not to be “me” in my home city for a number of reasons. It is sort of too close to home so to speak but on the first shoot with Sianne I thought why not? My reasoning behind this was simple, I am confident enough to blend in my surroundings and never encountered problems visiting other locations around the UK, so this was an ideal occasion in the circumstances. To make matters more interesting it was also schools half term week in February, so there would be kids about too which sometimes is not ideal especially when you are presenting yourself in the opposite gender - this is another story though. 

On arriving at the Albert Dock, it became clear early on that no person had notice me which is what I was after as clearly my appearance was as good as it could be which gave further confidence. Walking around locations although very familiar to me was a little strange as never visited as KD. Yes, it was a little odd in my mind but definitely right as normally I’m tend to be out in non familiar locations such as Manchester. As expected, there was plenty of visitors around including numerous kids and students but not one batted an eyelid or express an interest in me.

After saying goodbye to Sianne, I went to Costa for a coffee before ultimately heading home which gave me time to reflect as it was only then I realize, that again not one person gave me a second glance, including the half term students either which gave me a great confidence boost for the future especially being in my home city. May be I look better than I think? I have always strive to look the part of a lady but it is really up to others to decide that I must be doing something right in my mind. 

Sianne and I met again in Liverpool in early April, this time a visit to Sefton Park which is  very close to home for me personally as this was an area I was brought up in my younger days, so therefore knew it well. Walking around the park on a nice sunny afternoon, there were plenty of people (and children) in the park and again I seem to blend in as everyone just thinking I was just another lady which I was! It was not long before the afternoon was over and we said our goodbyes once again but knowing that I had achieved another milestone in being the person I enjoy portraying. 

In conclusion, being “me” in my home city was something special but I never expected to do and one that I enjoyed never the less. Will it happen again? Yes I’m sure it will do but on limited occasions though as the fear of being recognized plays in my mind although clearly no person that I may know, would recognize me as they would not be expecting nor thinking to meet a TGirl, let alone meeting myself as KD! It is strange how your brain plays tricks when there is no need too!

KD. 11th April 2013.

June 2015 - Quality not quantity meets!

Time for another entry as it has been over two months since the last one but things in general are just ok, so no hurry to make another entry.

Outings have been sparse since April but made up in quality though which to me is more important but at the same time had to cancel a couple at the last minute too due to home circumstances which in my book, is not a done thing to let people down so I did feel terrible! Sorry girls, you know who you are. However, on the bright side, I did finally manage to meet up with Amanda in Chester in May, the third time of asking. On this occasion, nothing got in the way other than our own thoughts as it transpired. While getting ready during the afternoon, I did have seconds thoughts about actually going out! It was down to losing confidence in going out, something that happens when it has been a while since you have been out. I’m sure some girls will relate to that from their own experience’s but in this instance because it was Amanda I was meeting, I had to go whether I like it or not! I met up with Amanda in Hoole and after a short chat, headed to Chester City Centre were then realise it was Chester Races and found it a little busy in places. This led us taking a little time to find a restaurant for a bite to eat but eventually we found “La Fattoria” in Lower Bridge St which was packed out, but when you see that, it is usually a good sign that the food is good! Fortunately, the Italian waiter, manage to find a table for two, ironically near the men’s toilets which was quite amusing but just co-incidental though. Regardless, the service and food were excellent even though the waiters were run off their feet but nothing was too much for them! Bottom line, highly recommended and go again! Afterwards, Amanda and I went for a walk by the river, later on a cup of tea and a good old natter covering many things! Ironically, it is then that Amanda had also had lost some confidence and had similar thoughts as myself which I found surprising, as Amanda does always has a lot of self belief. However, she had not been out for a few months for a number of reasons so this is why she felt the same way as myself! You see it happens to the best of us! 

Next outing was meeting up with Kelly Helm in Manchester City Centre on 20th May as previously planned. Kelly is a girl who i came across via Flickr site and things developed from there. My main thought, although I knew what Kelly would look like, she has a habit of having different colour hair styles along with her outfits, so was not sure how she would appear! She has the lovely ability of excellent co-ordinating with her clothes. Although I was running a little late and made my apologies according finally met up with Kelly and to my surprise in an outfit and hair style I have never seen wearing before but she still looked good. We then headed into the City Centre and found a nice coffee bar near to the old “Corn Exchange”, not before making a “visit”. For next 2/3 hours, we chatted about our lives, exchange backgrounds but one thing for sure, Kelly is such a genuine lovely lady who has a great outlook on life as well as caring for her family and friends. To be honest, one of the nicest people I’ve ever come across. Unfortunately time was against us and we said our goodbyes near Piccadilly but hopefully we will meet again soon. Afterwards, I done a little bit of shopping including some hold ups / stockings from Primark but my outing was not done! I had arrange to meet Kate and Sophia later on in the Village and originally was going to change my outfit ( a Monsoon dress) but decided I could not be bothered as I looked ok anyway! Eventually met up with the girls, had a bite to eat, and had a nice evening in the Village, with eventually getting home at 2.30 in the morning! Yes that was a long but most enjoyable day. 

My next outing was another quality outing but on this occasion, meeting up with Sianne from Halifax, again in Manchester City Centre. For those people who have read my blog entries, will be aware that Sianne is the 23yr old RG student who I met over two years ago who was doing a project / course on TG people and I was one of her subjects. Eventually Sianne got the qualifications due to her course work, and I thought that would be it! Anyway much to my surprise, Sianne got back in touch some months ago which was really nice and eventually we arranged this meet. Just like Kelly’s meet, I was running late again but fortunately it made no difference but met up with Sianne and decided to have a drink and a chat first! Playing catch up on the last two years but Sianne was looking good to say the least. Mmm oh so envious from my point if view but something I’ve got use too especially working as I do with my girl work colleagues! Afterwards, we headed to “Browns” to have a bite to eat which Sianne kindly paid for which was much appreciated but seem so wrong. You need to think about the latter thought and put a different head on to understand what I mean! Afterwards, we headed to the Village for another drink and eventually met up with Sophia. It was now 10.00pm and Sianne made a move to go home as she needed to get a train home. I walked her to Manchester Piccadilly Station and said our goodbye’s but it was really nice seeing her again and have agreed to meet again in the future. I then headed back to the Village, met up with Sophia again but I decided I need to get change again so headed back to my car. At the time I was wearing nice jeans and light coloured top but wanted to change into a skirt for the rest of the evening. Now there lies a problem, I also need to put hosiery on too which in this case was stockings. Getting inside the car into a skirt and stockings, just say was not easy but eventually I done it. Final adjustments were done when i met up with Sophia again and went onto enjoy the rest of the evening before arriving home once again at 2.30 in the morning. 

Now the last meeting above was some 3 weeks ago and as things stand my next outing will be Sparkle in Manchester next week for three days - something I’m looking forward too but the theme I think will be dresses! Anyway enough on this entry and may be make another (short) entry before Sparkle to cover other recent matters.