Monday, 1 January 2018

January 2018 - A new year but what does KD's future hold?

It has been a couple of months since I wrote anything in my blog but for once, there is nothing to write when it comes to me as KD. Everything is literally on hold and currently no idea what the future holds, certainly in the short to medium term. 

Those who have followed this blog (the few I imagine) and read the last entry, may realise personal things have been topsy turfy over the last few months but sadly the start of the new year does not start bright and now facing an uncertain future. So much so, that KD is well and truly taking a back seat for the foreseeable future as my priorities have shifted more importantly to everyday survival at home. 

Sadly for me, not been out since 13th October last year, although had opportunties to go out, circumstances and lack of money has conspired against me that they have been passed up with great reluctance but really no choice. Today, was the last day of employment and tomorrow I sign on as another umemployed person which is the first time in my working life I’ve had to do this.   It was sad leaving work tonight for the last time as I enjoyed working there, met many nice people too. Now got to go and find another job from somewhere but that wont be easy at this time of year. Sadly my ‘new’ job was a short term contract with the hope of getting kept on but it has not transpired that way. Yes take your take a chance and hope for the best. Ah well, it did not work out and not a good start to the new year! 

The consequence of all this that money will be short and as others know, luxuries if you wish to call being yourself one has got to go as you need to keep a roof over our heads first and foremost.  With this is mind, I have no plans to be out in the near future and no idea when I will eventually get out either. One of my plans to raise money if push comes to shove, it is start selling some of my clothes from my wardrobe just to raise some cash. Yes it could happen but hopefully not and attempt to be positive and something will turn up eventually to get everything back on an even keel. 

Well, I have written enough and now’t else to write about, so until the next entry, when ever that may be, next week, next month, may be many months, have a good new year. xx

(Edit: 2nd January 18 - I am unable to sign on and receive Job Seekers assistance (via DWP) due to receiving a small pension and already my stamp contributions for my State Pension have acheived their required level too. I pay my taxes and National Insurance and what do I get for assistance from the State - xxxx all! Yet plenty of people live off the state because of people like me!! Do I feel agrieved - yes and it sucks!!)

Wednesday, 1 November 2017

October 2017 - Post Sparkle happenings!

Well it has been 3 months since my last entry, which has been the longest I have not written a blog entry for quite some time. It has only been today, that I realise and thought about making an entry but not sure if this will be a short or long entry, but we will soon find out!

As you may have notice, not written anything about my attendence at ‘Sparkle 2017’ which in some ways speaks volumes about the weekend or may be not! This year a local friend, Paula shared a hotel room with me for two nights which ease the burden of the cost of the weekend but also more imporatnatly some nice company too. Generally speaking, the whole weekend was “ok” for both of us, met some friends as you always do and also miss friends too if they did not turn up! In the latter case two friends did not turn up being Zazoo and Joanne who were missed but happy to say, my good friend Sue manage to come up for the weekend which was good but she was also playing catch up with numerous girls at Sparkle who she had not seen for some time. As I’ve said, the weekend was “ok” but really nothing to write home about, has the event lost its ‘sparkle’ but I suspect others may disagree. To be honest, I was glad to get home on Sunday early afternoon and get away from it. As for next year, a decision has yet to be made. 

Things in general since Sparkle have been topsy turvy including an ongoing difficult spell at work were I have ultimately been off sick and consequently resigned from the job. Basically I just had enough where I was, lost the trust and belief in the staff I worked for numerous reasons and no longer an employer who I could work for either. Some people are just complete shits and two faced too. Thankfully, I have manage to find another job at a well known large retailer and start there this Thursday, which I am looking forward too. Something different and ultimately may be more variety too. 

However, I have began to realise that “other” things in my life in the last couple of years have not really not gone away in my head and this has played a part in my mental well being too. I suppose the above work issue finally made me realise I need to do something about it, so a visit to the doctor was arranged and a plan of action formulated. Strange really and probably unusually too, none of this has got to do with me as KD which I find is a positive thing. May be this proves I am content with that part of me and take things as they come in that respect? In all of this, there has been one constant factor in my well being and that is M.R. who has stood and supported me regardless which is nice and very much appreciated. Thank You. 

Outings since Sparkle have been few and far between to say the least, in fact I think only been out on three occasions including two “M2F” events in the Village , Manchester which were enjoyable. I have been invited on a few occasions to get out but sadly circumstances have dictated it was not possible. Those circumstances included two periods of a “chest” virus totally 7 weeks which really sound wise was not very lady like when out and about! In a lot of ways, my big wardrobe has been almost been redundant were my clothes are literally waiting for a rainy day to wear them!  With that in mind, certainly no point in making new clothes purchases, may be I should be selling some instead? Hopefully my next outing will be next week at the November ‘M2F’ event in the Village but as yet that is not confirmed I am attending. Fingers cross. 

Tuesday, 11 July 2017

July 2017 - Blog catch up!

Well “Sparkle” has been and gone just last weekend, so time to play catch up on my blog. Yes, almost three months since my last entry but to be honest, really not much to write about other than “same old moans” about one thing or another in KD’s life. So I will not write about them again! 

Outings have been limited to say the least but even on a couple of occasions, I had the opportunity to go out, but decided can’t be bothered! No particular reason I suppose but hot sticky weather plays apart and also you should not force yourself to do something as you end up not enjoying it. In attempting to recall when I’ve been out since the beginning of April, not including “Sparkle” weekend, I’ve only been out three times, one at the end of April and two others in June visiting the “Village”, Manchester on each occasion. I suppose just routine outings to be honest, nothing special other than catching up with a couple of friends as well as being “me” which is what its about! However, I must admit with a number of people knowing about “me”, I am able to be my true self regardless of what clothes I wear. Some girls I’ve spoken too, do understand what I’m saying here but basically, because you have no secrets as such, you are able to be the person you wish to be regardless of clothes you wear but it helps though wearing nice girly clothes etc. I have found with the people who dont know about “me”, I am unable to the complete person with them! I hope some of you who read this, understand what I am saying but also may be able to relate to it too? 

Prior to “Sparkle” and knowing I was going for the weekend, I purchase two dresses, a skirt and a couple pair of shoes before hand. The clothes had a 50’s theme were petticoats are required to give the fulness to the dresses and the skirt. They were purchase from “Lindy Bop” and are good value for money, interesting even M.R. purchase the same skirt although she does not want to wear a petticoat though. What a shame but I think she look good if she included a petticoat but the skirt will look nice on her regardless. 

As for other matters, life at home is fine but unfortunately going to work is now a chore sadly. I am unable to go into detail here but suffice to say, there has been numerous changes with in the store which has ultimately affected the staff including some making complaints against other staff. The atmosphere in consequence makes it a place not to work in, all thanks to some “shits” making a mountain out of a mole hill! Now I dont know who to trust or who to believe anymore! Ah well, the national mimimum wage at least pays some of my bills which is the positive part!! I would love to get a new job but at my age, I doubt I would fine another one sadly! So what the point of looking in the first place is my reasoning especially when i prefer to enjoy my free time I have left in my life. 

So I suppose as I have mentioned “Sparkle”, I suppose I need to write about it, yes I will but that be in my next entry as time for bed! 

Thursday, 20 April 2017

April 2017 - Just no time!

Two months gone by since last blog entry and life has been hectic every since but KD has not been though. Either too busy or strange it may seem, can not be bothered! Probably the latter is something to do with having a breather from other things though! Not sure how I am finding time to write here but may be my way of chilling from other things - something different? 

In my last blog entry, I referred to a “big hole in our lives was left” and neither M.R. or I realised how big though until they are not there. Strange really it is the small things we have miss, the things you hear or see, everyday things that you take for granted but then hey presto, not there anymore! Even now still hearing things but mostly in my imagination. Anyway, we are hoping that after this Saturday, we will be able to move on and hear and see some things again. Sorry all this is criptic but I'm sure one or two of you will be able to figure it out what I am going on about! 

In the meantime, we are contining with various home improvements while we have the opportunity and gradually getting there - may be this is the real reason for not bothering to go out. So much to do but little time! I’m never sure how I manage to fit in work too which is another issue to contend with! Usual “retail” issues, cutting down on staff, more work for those who stay but at the end of day, its like putting square blocks in round holes and it dont work - something has got to give including ideal customer service! When will management especially those in the ivory tower learn? Never, because they are shit at their jobs! I normally enjoy my job especially being with the girls but currently it’s a chore sadly! 

Not been out this month at all and was planing to go out tonight but decided not too. There seem to be no pressing need too and I had not arrange anything concrete so decided to leave it to next week. Now will I next week? However, I did manage three outings in March including Leeds First Friday. The latter i went with Helen from Leigh, who kindly offered to share her hotel room which was very much appreciated. We met up with Kate, Sarah and Vanessa who was on her first visit during the course of the evening, visited the usual haunts but never the less had an enjoyable evening. Certainly the our meal at the Italian Restaurant “Viva” in Bridge End was excellent and the soup served was a treat - the best I’ve had in my life! However, I would admit, compared with other LFF’s I have attended, there seem to be less girls in attendance and begs the question, is the event finally tailing off? Time will tell I suppose.

A few days later, met up with Lauren from Bristol as she was up here on business. Although it was Tuesday and it was first proper outing, I decided to take her to the Village, a safe area for a first time visit and help to get her confidence. Lauren actually stayed locally, so I just collected and returned her to the hotel she was staying. I think it was a good evening but strangely not heard from her since besides an initial thank you etc. Something I’ve said? lol.

My third outing was at the end of the month and met up with a nice girl, Anthea visiting from Scotland along with meeting my other friends, Paula (Liverpool) and Sarah (Runcorn). Another enjoyable evening was had including yet another good meal at Velvet. The Village seem to be its usual self for Wednesday’s, a few girls, people out but mostly quiet. Ah well, it dont matter a good night never the less but at least it gave me to wear my shiney “Per Una” navy blue matching top and skirt which I enjoyed. Can’t wait to wear it again sometime! 

I was hoping to get out to the new “Manchester 2nd Friday” in the Village in March and April but other things conspired against it including being under the weather for the April event which was held on Good Friday! Numbers to the the first three events have been encouraging which meant Kat eis going to continue with it for the rest of the year. In the meantime, being helping Kate in building a website to partly advertise the event along with the launch of “Manchester Minx” group too. I think in the near future the website will be ready to launch onto the world wide web finally. Watch this space.

Right that brings my blog upto date once again but hopefully once the next two / three weeks are out of the way including a two week holiday break, may be then things get back to normal and KD may make regular appearances once again - well Sparkle is on the horizon! Yay! 

Tuesday, 14 February 2017

February 2017 - Belated entry and a big sad hole!

These days my blog entries are getting more spread about for numerous reasons, may be not much to write about I suppose, same old, same old news may be? My last entry was 3 months ago  and since then Christmas and New Year have thankfully gone but as for a fresh new year and better things, sadly that will not happen what so ever. I (& M.R.) must be going through a stage of our lives were things are not going as we would wish and it is one thing after another that seems to be happening to us, just when you think things are improving. Without writing too much and giving too much personal details on here, as remember some people still don’t know about “me”, another very sad event happened a few days ago which has left us with a big hole in our day to day lives. Talking about shedding tears, a few good streams have been and gone so far by both of us with consequently going to take some time and getting used too before we get back to any sense of normality. As people say and its true, time is a good healer but you never ever forget. 

As for KD matters, in the light of what has happened recently, I currently have no appetite to go out and be “me”, it don’t seem right nor will it change my personal feelings in anyway, as the bottom line, I am still “me” regardless of clothes I wear. I had provisional plans to go out this week but I shall not bother. Again, I give my self time and hopefully, things will change as time goes by. 

As for KD things during the previous three months, I did manage to have a handful of outings, a couple before christmas and a couple in the new year. They have been the usual visits to the Village, Manchester with one other being daytime outing near Chester, with all of course enjoyable for different reasons. The latter outing was nice being daytime but also took the opportunity to visit work on the way home, for couple of my colleagues have been wanting the opportunity to see “me” but so far I eluded them. Well they were pleasantly surpised when I arrived and favourable comments were received too. The latter always gives you a little boost in confidence. In the meantime, some new clothes purchases have being had but I think the time has come to stop buying more. How many do I need given the amount of outings I have had over the last couple of years and looks like the future too? 

Last Friday (10th February) was the initial “Manchester Second Friday” event at the Village, Manchester and I understand was a success. The idea originated by my good friend / sister, Kate Kat last year on the basis that if Leeds and Birmingham have monthly events, then why not Manchester (Village) given it has always been known one of the main locations in the UK were TG people visit because of the closeness of numerous restaurants, bars and clubs located in and around Canal St. I know some people will say that there has always been the well known weekly Wednesday evenings in the Village but over the last few years, it has tailed off for numerous reasons and no sign it will ever get back to the way it was. So with the success of “Leeds First Friday” over a period of years which basically self advertises, it was thought to give the idea a try. So with some advance advertising via a variety of media sources for the event, it looks it proved popular and initial numbers suggested there could be some merit in making it a monthly event on the second Friday of each month. To help to promote this event, a website will be launched not just to advertise this evening but list the various bars / clubs / restaurants with also hotels in and around the village but promote other TGirl events / evenings too. Watch this space may be?

Well, that is enough for this entry as things here are too quiet which leaves me to say, farewell my friend, as you gave so much in our lives, you will never be forgotten and never stopped being loved too. :-(