Wednesday, 25 April 2018

April 2018 - Crossroads?

I am now at the crossroads of KD's life not knowing what to do. I have been out and about since about 2005 and met many nice people along the way. Likewise, I have always attempted to dress the part, be polite, care about others, respect people, have fun, can be serious occasionally, also importantly attempted to appreciate other people's circumstances too. 

Over the years, I have met many girls for an outing, seem to have a good time then I don't hear from them again for what ever reason except the common denominator is 'me". What other conclusion am I am able to make sadly! 

Yes, I do seek geniune friendship but it must work both ways though, in other words in cannot be one way contact and I am making the running, more often than not. So again, it's me! Am I that bad? Yes it must be! Asking for too much? Yes, seems to be the answer! 

I get loads of compliments from girls especially, in my appearance, tend to look the part etc and yes I do have a big wardrobe with lots of nice clothes but these days hardly ever get to wear! Over the last few months, it has been difficult for me personally for numerous reasons but no one who suppose to know me has ask why or made contact, yet they know I have not been around! Say's a lot I suppose!

Recently I have been trying to get out, contacted some girls but geniunely have not been able to make it. Yes so disappointed from my point of view but it keeps happening and now is having a serious affect on me! I am coming to the stage now, I cannot take anymore knock backs or what ever you wish to call them! 

I am not a type of girl who enjoys going out on her own, yes I tried it but just not me nor do I wholly enjoy it,  I do like company after all, who does not? Other girls have suggested ‘social media’ for a source of contact, that is perfectly understandable but sadly I do not do Facebook, Twitter, What’s App for the plain simple reason, my family are on it and I am unable to risk any possibility of a cross-over between the two. There so called privacy options on these Apps are not fool proof sadly, experience has told me that already! 

So what do I do now, I have no idea and may be time to call it a day! I enjoy being ‘me’ when able too but that is the point ‘when’! Lately that is not happening and I look at my lovely wardrobe of clothes etc and just think when will I wear these again? It seems the answer is never, so may be time to go as no point just hanging up for no reason is there? 

Unfortunately, life in general is unforgiving, not perfect etc that I accept but I am now asking for too much clearly. I am not getting any younger either and I cannot waste my life away on, may be’s, let down, timetasters or what ever, life is really too short for that! 

Finally to all the ‘girls’ out there regardless of your personal circumstances, wishes, fantasties, fetishes, kinks etc, please be abit more careful and respectful of what you say or do, or in most cases, what you dont do, that you DO affect other people’s lives and when it continues to do it on the same person, it may not affect you but it HAS consequences!! So please be a more thoughtful, trueful, caring and repectful to the people please. As for me the damage has been done and now need to decide what to do! 

Written while I was listening to Bette Midler singing many lovely songs and including ‘Wind beneath my wings’ - just shed a few tears eh! 

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