Friday, 26 April 2013

April 2013 - Who is Selfish?

Well since our weekend away, things have been generally quiet with only two outing’s since then, although they were enjoyable day’s and a strange but sad text to M.R. from my daughter! 

Just over a year ago, I found out my daughter knew about me and although we have had one discussion between us, she seem to be ok with it, although clearly she preferred to be kept quiet and leave it at that. I had no problems with that but this all changed some weeks ago when my daughter text M.R. saying various things about me being KD! At that time, it affected me and consequently for a short period I had not been in the mood to go out. What made matters worst, it was ok for daughter to sent the text but no right to reply either! I can't say too much as this is a public blog but the contents just upset me (& Glynis) to be honest and clearly daughter thinks I'm selfish for being who I am. I suppose the bottom line, it has left me with an empty feeling along with thinking who is the selfish one and also never brought my (our) daughter to be so blinked in her views! Does not my (our) happiness and what we want now and the future matter in the circumstances?  After bringing our kids up for the last 30 years including feed them, roof over their heads, never wanted for anything, if fact we gave our lives for them but that don’t matter - mmmm who is the selfish one in the circumstances? We never brought our daughter up to be like this and that makes me sad!

Anyway, the two outings I’ve had, have been enjoyable for different reasons. The first was the last Wednesday in March and met up with Kate for a meal and a chat. It had been a quite a while since we had done this, so it was a case of playing catch up. This we did eventually (loud music aside) as well as meeting one of Kate’s friends from the Stockport area whose name I’ve forgotten (sorry). Much to my surprise, I bumped into Jane (Maybe) and later on in the evening we managed to play catch up also as it had been a long time since we really chatted. Previously, we had been ships passing in the night with the odd hiya. Jane was looking very well indeed and now the girl she always wanted to be but she was now seeking a partner for the future which is understandable. Jane, if you are reading this, you will find one when you least expect it and there is someone out there for you, that I’m sure. You deserved it but be patient hey. 

The second outing was a little special I suppose, as it was a day and night affair! Previously I had met up with Sianne, a RG from Blackpool who is doing a Uni project on TG people but we had agreed to meet again for more photo’s and a good natter. This time we met in one of Liverpool’s bigger parks, namely Sefton Park. This park I knew very well from my younger days and it was a strange for me walking around as "me" but was never the less enjoyable being a nice sunny afternoon. On this occasion, I choose a different outfit from the last meeting but also conscious that it needed to be dual purpose as I was meeting two girls in the Village later on. Yet another occasion were no one batted an eyelid with plenty of people and kids about. Sianne took quite a few images and certainly even I must agree, she got a couple of really good ones and hopefully one day will post a couple on my flickr site, but for the time being Sianne needs to display them first as part of her Uni project. Hopefully, it she gets the results she wants in the few weeks when the project is handed in. It is planned for the project to be put on display in June and including Sparkle in July. 

After saying goodbye to Sianne at teatime, I headed to my work place to kill some time but also to change my skirt and redo my make up. My Manager seem happy to let me do this but as it was her first time seeing me, she seem to be impressed with initial reaction being of a “wow” factor. Also another two colleague’s met me for the first time and there reaction was just as good including your make up is good! Clearly I’m doing something right! :-)) After a quick change and a cup of tea, I departed collecting Sophia on my way and met up with Sarah from Macclesfield in Manchester City Centre - both girls only on there second outside outing with me being their guide. Of course, we headed to the Village although it was Thursday evening and visited Richmond Tea Rooms (for dessert first), then Velvet were a nice meal and excellent service was had. Later on we visited Via, Molly House and Naps, with the latter as expected being quiet! Both girls seem to enjoy themselves, both looked the part too but sadly the evening ended all too quick as the bed and home time beckoned. Certainly it is hoped we can get together again but because of circumstances, it wont be easy. For me personally, it had been a varied but interesting 12 hour day meeting many people in different environments something that I would like to happen more often. 

Well that is it for this entry although not been out for three weeks now - is there anyone there? :-)) All being well, hopefully get out next week, anyone interested? 


Bev. said...

Re your daughter: Perhaps she has found this blog?

As long she thought you were being "secret" and no one else would ever know then there were no problems, no threats to her sense of self-indentity. However, with this blog being public ANYONE could find it - including someone who knows you both. After all your photo is on it (Shock! Horror!!!)

People act very irrationally when they feel that their own personal identity is under threat.

Kay Denise said...

Thanks Bev for your thoughts but my daughter is aware of my blog and knows I have images too which she is not interested in them which is something I respect and understand too. I doubt it is something to do with self - identity although it is a reasonable assumption to make but more likely to do with other issues were here is not the place to explain or discuss.