Friday, 5 October 2012

October 12 - More thoughts!

Recently, I met Tina for a Tuesday evening out in the Village which was enjoyable but strange too. As it was a Tuesday, not expecting to see any other girls out but one Yorkshire lass appeared and un-expectantly join us for tea & scones in the Richmond Tea Rooms. Yes no fun being on your own but this was the first time I met Tina in seven weeks and we were attempting to play catch up on the gossip and news. The girl was friendly and talkative with some interesting stories exchanged. Afterwards we went to Velvet for a bite to eat but that was short lived as no sooner we had got our drinks and about to order our food, we were too much for the restaurant to take! There was a power black out and were advised that no drinks / food would be possible! So off we went next door to Taurus for our bite to eat and play catch up! It was during this catch up which ultimately has led to my next thoughts. It is all about what we T-Girls are looking for being “us” and what we are seeking and enjoying being “us”. 

My enjoyment in being "me", is meeting like minded girls like Tina but also getting out and about too (in good company) - which is a big part of me and as much as I enjoy going to "tranny" only places, it is not what I want all the time as I enjoy the outside world for want of a better description. But is the reality wanting to go anywhere as “me” is seeking the impossible and / or my expectations are so high, that no other TGirl can ever meet them for numerous reasons. These reasons vary as one thing for certain, no two T-Girl circumstances are the same, nor what they are seeking is always the same which makes it harder for me. I certainly know, that I have not spent the last few years, spending loads of money on clothes, make-up etc, attempting to look the part of a woman (but still need improvements) just to go to "tranny" only places. Christ I may of saved a fortune and various discussion's with M.R. by just keeping it simple for that purpose, just slap any make-up on face, cheap wig, slutty type clothes and still blend in a tranny only venue! But that is not me and would not be happy with that either.  

With saying the above, this is no reflection on other T-Girls but may be the conversation I had with Tina, has unwittingly re-focus my thoughts on what I'm seeking and what is actually possible given my personal circumstances. It is easier for me due to my work day offs to get out during the day, certainly less bother and not worrying about the 3pm deadline I have when I'm getting ready. There are family reasons for this deadline which is a complete pain for me and means often hanging around / killing time in some way to meet friends for the evening only which is no fun when you are on your own - there is only a certain amount of window shopping you can do! :-))  This is no fault of anyone as it is just my personal circumstances. But this creates other problems including on many a occasion, not getting out what so ever because for an example, the timing of which can be awkward due to my getting ready routine and family circumstances crossing paths at the wrong time which is extremely frustrating to say the least. Yes, I have been off two days this week, had a chance to be "me" but besides no friend to meet ....... nothing and a waste! 

It is clear to me now that seeking new friends is always going to be difficult and won't happen overnight - in fact, if ever! So far this year, it has been hard work to find like minded girls - too many time wasters around and along with those looking for fun / sex only which I have no interest in!! Any girls I do come across, seem to make it hard work to communicate, never been out or personal circumstances are interfering. When I do find a like minded girl, always seem to be in the far flung places of the UK making meetings almost impossible!! My "me" needs are never going to co-incide with other T-Girls circumstances which makes me think I wish I could just switch off being "me" for ever - save less hassle, time and more problems but sadly I know that won't happen - it can't because KD is "me" and happy when I am "me". So what next - no idea but if you are reading this, you are local and like to do similar things, please get in touch but won’t hold my breath though! 

Does all that make sense, may be, may be not but just thinking out aloud and see if there will be answers forthcoming in the future?    

No comments: